J’S STORY FROM MATRIX KIDS FAMILY

This story is about her grandma.

My grandma is over 80 years old now and faces some mobility challenges due to certain health conditions. She requires daily care from a dedicated caregiver. In her earlier years, she was a doctor who dedicated her life to her profession until her retirement. After retiring, she opened a small clinic in our close-knit community. This was during my junior high school years, a time I fondly recall as the happiest of my school life.

She had a unique habit of collecting all the cash that neighbors gave her in a wooden drawer and counting it at the end of each day. I would sometimes sneak a few dollars from there to buy ice cream, which, in hindsight, might be considered as embezzlement of company property.

Grandma has always been an excellent cook, swift in her actions, and she still looks lovely to this day. In my heart, she is the perfect grandma!

But my intention here is not just to share these fond memories. We all wish for her to live a happy and healthy life well into her 100s. The journey towards this goal has been an interesting one.

Initially, after Grandpa passed away, she moved into my parents’ apartment. My dad and mom took on the responsibility of caring for her while they continued to work. Despite this, she would often call me to express her loneliness.

Later on, my mother chose a beautiful elderly care and rehabilitation center for her, nestled among mountains and rivers. This decision wasn’t about finding grandma annoying at home; rather, it was aligned with her character. She loved playing cards and socializing, and the community at the center provided exactly that. It was clear that the needs of older individuals couldn’t be met solely at my parents’ apartment.

However, my mother made it clear to me that she didn’t want to be sent to a nursing home when she grows older. She would jokingly say that if she ever ended up there, she’d come and smash our house with pans. (Mom, you do realize that pans are inexpensive at the supermarket, right? Can you beat them?)

Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve got a plan!

Everyone has a unique personality and different preferences. Some people thrive on socializing, while others cherish family life. Besides, this nursing home had wonderful amenities, including a beautiful racetrack, gardens with pretty flowers, and nearby farmers’ vegetable fields. Of course, quality comes at a price, and the cost was not low. Two elderly residents shared a room with a caregiver attending to their needs. The cafeteria offered three meals daily, either in the communal dining area or delivered to individual rooms by cafeteria staff.

During the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic, the cafeteria staff adopted contactless delivery, leaving meals at room doors. The nursing center had specialized doctors and nurses for regular check-ups and even housed a pharmacy on the first floor. In my view, it was a multi-functional center that catered to elderly care and medical needs. There were also rehabilitation rooms, chess and card rooms, and physical therapists on the second floor.

The nursing home was located quite a distance from my parents’ apartment, approximately a 20-minute drive. My mother would visit the nursing home 2-3 times a week to supplement grandma’s nutrition, and my father would prepare meals for her. This routine continued for a while, until one day when grandma expressed her desire to return home.

At that time, the COVID-19 pandemic was still severe, and nursing homes were enforcing strict isolation management policies. My parents would often sneak into the nursing home by climbing over the fence to deliver meals to grandma—a dinner box delivery turned into an authentic battle. Life was like a battlefield during those times. Perhaps due to the pandemic, grandma strongly resisted staying in the nursing home. Maybe living with my parents wasn’t the best fit for her either.

So, what was our solution?

My dad, a construction engineer, came up with a brilliant plan. His hometown was a small coastal county, and they found a small, reasonably priced apartment there. Many of my father’s relatives lived in the small county, including his siblings and their families, which made it an ideal choice. Dad purchased the apartment and received valuable assistance from my uncle.

The apartment was in the suburbs, close to the county seat, with access to a beautiful Forest Park. The air was clean, the surroundings peaceful, and many young families resided in the area. My dad used his construction skills to remodel the apartment. For instance, he installed double doors in grandma’s room to make it wheelchair-friendly.

Grandma now shares the apartment with her dedicated caregiver (whom I affectionately call Auntie). They have a double bed, central air conditioning, and a balcony that connects to grandma’s bedroom for ventilation. The bathroom has also been modified to accommodate grandma’s wheelchair, making it a wheelchair-friendly space.

Anti-slip mats and other safety measures were implemented in the dining room and living room to ensure easy wheelchair access. Despite being on the 8th floor, each door has a separate elevator, making it wheelchair accessible. Downstairs, there is a large community garden. For safety, delivery staff can leave items at the stairs, which Auntie can retrieve using the elevator. It was thanks to this apartment that despite the pandemic’s worst phases when almost everyone else was getting sick, grandma and Auntie remained healthy.

Mom would visit about once a month on average, usually conducting remote communication and delivering meals. Dad’s sister, brother, and relatives also visit grandma, bringing food and drinks. Grandma is thrilled with her current living situation, and I am deeply grateful!

This is one of the missions of Matrix Kids.

Situations like this occur due to the uncertainties brought about by the pandemic, economic instability, and changing family dynamics worldwide. As young parents responsible for raising young children and grandparents accountable for caring for older people, they are often located in different areas. Young parents may be forced to separate due to work reasons (as highlighted in Susie’s family story One). Great-grandparents may be living in different regions, leading to emotional distance and wasted resources, both financially and in terms of unused space.

Matrix Kids aims to help build family-friendly communities for families with young children and elderly family members in different regions around the world.

We are all in this together!